A Guide to Navigating Divorce with Grace
Discover support on navigating divorce gracefully with Williamson & Associates. Explore Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to heal from a divorce. Learn more about counselling for divorce now!
You find yourself emotionally detached and constantly unhappy in your marriage. You have tried counselling to reconnect and repair your relationship, but with no improvement. Trust may have been irreparably broken through lies, infidelity, or betrayal. Or there are clashing differences in core beliefs, values, and expectations that no mediation or counselling can resolve. Whatever the reasons, you may both feel ready to consider a divorce.
Parting ways from once the most significant person in your life can be deeply distressing, and it usually requires a significant support system. EFT counselling for divorce at Williamson & Associates offers an approach to managing the emotional toll of divorce, helping couples part ways with dignity and grace.
Understanding the Emotional Impact of Divorce
Ending a marriage doesn't just mean the partnership is over; the goals and dreams for the future together are gone, and you have to adapt to your new freedom and independence and navigate the financial uncertainty that may come with divorce. A grieving process may follow the end of a marriage because it is a signifcant loss. You may feel a confusing mix of emotions, such as grief, anger, uncertainty, fear, and relief.
If you have children together, you must figure out how to break the news, protect their well-being and emotional stability throughout and post-divorce, and work out how to co-parent. All of this can create emotional turmoil that makes navigating divorce even more challenging.
The Role of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) in Divorce Counselling
As you moved through various marriage stages and life transitions together, misunderstandings, miscommunication, and betrayals caused insecurity, hurt, and emotional distress, keeping you trapped in harmful cycles of interaction. You've determined that filing for divorce is the most appropriate step after all of your attempts to save your marriage have failed.
But why go to divorce counselling?
Because a qualified therapist can help you communicate complex feelings about your marriage and divorce more respectfully and constructively than you may be able to do on your own. An outside perspective from the therapist will ensure you both feel heard and validated. EFT for divorce can help you address and process the underlying emotions that the end of a marriage brings to the surface, leading to a deeper understanding of yourself and your partner, even amid separation.
If you have children to co-parent, EFT for divorce can help you process negative feelings and resolve conflicts associated with co-parenting. While divorce is often stressful for families, one important factor linked with child outcomes after divorce is the quality of the divorced couple’s co-parenting relationship. Research by Adamsons & Pasley (2005) describes parents’ ability to effectively cooperate as co-parents is an important determinant of children’s well-being in divorced families, especially when the children are young.
During this stressful life transition, it's important that you recognize and attend to your emotional needs. Seeking counselling or therapy for divorce can be a helpful way to navigate emotions and improve communication. An EFT counsellor will help you both accept each other’s decisions and address unresolved underlying issues before separating. You will have the opportunity to address unresolved underlying problems, allowing you to start over without the load of your past.
Furthermore, your EFT therapist will help you process grief and help you express your needs in a way that encourages a shift from blaming each other to one of openness and constructive dialogue.
Navigating Divorce with Grace
For most people, going through a divorce is one of the most challenging life experiences. To help you navigate this transition, your EFT therapist will encourage you to be patient and focus on self-care while transitioning into your new life:
Acknowledge your emotional and physical needs.
Tend to your needs through activities that promote well-being, such as mindfulness, exercise, relaxation, or journaling.
Engage in hobbies.
Set boundaries to manage interactions with your ex-partner in a way that respects your emotional limits.
Maintain open communication.
Moreover, it is crucial to prioritize the well-being of your children during the divorce process and minimize their exposure to conflict. Emotionally focused family therapy (EFFT) helps parents engage in honest, age-appropriate conversations about the changes a divorce will mean for the family. Your therapist will provide guidance and a safe space for your children to express their feelings and concerns, help family members cope with stress, communicate effectively to prevent conflicts and adjust to new life circumstances.
Building a Positive Future After Divorce
Post-divorce is the right time to align your priorities, set boundaries, care for yourself, and think of things you want to achieve. Like any other challenging life crisis, a divorce opens the door for growth and transformation, allowing you to reconnect with your genuine self, redefine your identity, and start new journeys that may have seemed impossible before.
Focusing on personal goals.
Now that you're single again, you'll want to explore personal goals and embrace new opportunities that align with your authentic self. You could focus on exploring a new career path, moving to a location you've always wanted to live in, or picking up new hobbies.
Finding what brings you happiness.
Be proactive—engage in outdoor activities, spend time with friends and family, commit to daily physical exercise, or volunteer within your community. Being active both socially and physically can mitigate the stress and negative emotions associated with divorce. It is also an excellent opportunity to connect with others.
Practicing self-compassion and forgiveness.
Practicing self-compassion, recognizing the hurt, and finding the strength to forgive oneself and others is essential to moving forward with grace and gratitude. Kristin Neff, a professor of psychology at the University of Texas, Austin, is largely credited with the concept of self-compassion in Western psychological terms. “The research shows that self-compassionate people are more likely to take responsibility for their misdeeds, apologize for what they did wrong, and repair whatever harm they’ve caused,” says Neff, who writes about her own divorce in her book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. Self-compassion protects us from identifying completely with our divorce, she argues; we see it as one piece of our present, and can still enjoy other positive aspects of our lives and build on them. Self-compassion and forgiveness are important parts of the healing journey post-divorce. It helps increase resilience, helping you navigate come out of divorce stronger and more grounded.
Conclusion
Even when it's amicable and respectful, a divorce presents specific challenges, let alone an emotionally charged, high-conflict divorce. You may experience emotional distress, including various feelings such as sadness, anger, guilt, uncertainty, worry, and fear.
Most couples require support and guidance through this life transition. EFT counselling for divorce offers tools to support your needs, gain closure, co-parent well together and move through divorce with grace and resilience.
If you want to navigate a divorce in a safe, supportive space, contact us to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.
Counselling in Olds, Alberta
At Williamson & Associates Counselling in Olds, Alberta, our couples counsellors are trained in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT), and Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT). Our counsellors offer in-person individual, family or couples counselling at our Olds, Alberta location, or online individual, family or couples counselling to anyone in the province of Alberta. Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT), and Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT) can help you feel connected and emotionally safe in your marriage, family and relationships. Reach out today to book your free phone consultation here with one of our amazing individual, couples and family counsellors for financial stress in your relationships.