What to Do When Your Partner or Family Declines to Seek Help Together

Dealing with relationship or family issues can be super tough. And it gets even more complicated when it seems that you're the only one who wants to get help. This can be frustrating and disheartening. It can cause conflicts and affect your happiness and how you connect with the people you care about the most.

But you don't have to go through this alone. At Williamson & Associates Counselling, we understand how complex this stuff can be. Our skilled individual, couples, and family counsellors are here to listen, validate you, and help you figure out what to do next, especially when your partner and family aren't into getting help.

Understanding the Resistance 

Getting everyone on the same page about seeking professional treatment for relationship or family challenges can be difficult for various reasons. There are many misconceptions about therapy out there, like thinking it won't really help or that it's just for when you've hit rock bottom. Sometimes, the stigma about therapy makes people believe there is something wrong with them if they need help. People often think they will be blamed and ganged up on by the therapist, their partner or family members. Oftentimes people fear therapy will lead to the relationship ending in separation or divorce. Also, some people, especially teens, may not feel comfortable sharing intimate details with a therapist.

Whatever the reasons, when your marriage or family is in trouble, you may be alone in your decision to seek counselling. However, you still can consider going. There are therapy options available that provide valuable insights that you can then apply to your interactions with your partner or family.

Introduction to Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) and Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT)

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT), and Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT) are approaches to therapy rooted in John Bowlby's attachment theory and an understanding that our early relationships with caregivers shape our emotional space and relationship later in life.

·       Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), helps couples understand their emotional dance and rewrite their steps to form a more stable, loving relationship.

·       Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT), is beneficial for people who do not have a significant other to join with them in therapy, and who are distressed from anxiety, depression, trauma, or relationship difficulties. EFIT can empower them to express their feelings and develop stronger, more secure connections within relationships.

·       Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT), helps entire families communicate better and build stronger emotional relationships.

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) and Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT) Can Help 

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), whether for couples, individuals, or families, helps people understand their attachments to others and enhance the quality of their relationships.

Perhaps you're stuck in a cycle of defending, attacking, blaming or withdrawing from your partner or family member. Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) and Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT), help couples, individuals, and families become emotionally accessible, emotionally responsive and engaged with each other. While spending quality time together is important, research highlights the need to go beyond surface-level companionship. It's about taking the risk to share our softer vulnerable emotions to create a sense of security by supporting each other emotionally. These moments of emotional connection are the key to creating intimacy and helping relationships grow.

Research by Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) and Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT), found if we can reach for each other when we are afraid or hurt and respond to each other’s cry for emotional support, love grows. In emotionally focused therapy you can transform long-standing conflicts into moments of connection by uncovering your underlying emotional needs. These new conversations with an emotionally focused therapist will help you break patterns that cause you to feel lonely and disconnected in your relationships. You will learn how to share and respond to each other in new ways that build trust and understanding, leading to deeper bonds.  Instead of criticizing or withdrawing when things get hard, you will open up to each other. When your partner or family member turns to you for support and shares their challenges, your supportive response will create a safe space for more vulnerable conversations between you. In emotionally focused therapy you will discover new and creative ways to keep your love strong for many years to come.

Overcoming Resistance to Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) and Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT)

At Williamson & Associates Counselling, we believe that open and honest communication is critical to bringing a spouse or family on board with therapy.

Open up by discussing your feelings and personal goals you want to achieve in therapy. Avoid accusations and blame, but point out the benefits of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) and Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT) like getting better at expressing feelings, getting to know one another more deeply, building a stronger bond, and resolving conflicts more effectively. Reinforce there is no good guy- bad guy in emotionally focused therapy, your therapist doesn’t take sides and sees all behaviour as making sense whether you get loud or go quiet, blame or criticize, as it is a way you are trying to get your attachment needs met because your person means so much to you.

The Role of Individual Therapy in Relationship and Family Context

When you seek individual therapy for relationship, family or marriage difficulties, it provides an opportunity to heal attachment wounds or past trauma that impact how you show up in your relationships. Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT), will help you transform emotional patterns, heal, grow and cultivate resilience. Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) enables you to thrive in life, love and relationships.

Conclusion 

We understand how convincing a reluctant partner or family member to seek counselling can be challenging and frustrating. Or how lonely and abandoned you might feel when deciding to seek therapy for relationship or family issues by yourself. Remember, though, how important it is to focus on your health and growth. Changes in you can also fuel changes in your partner or the whole family, encouraging them to take that critical step toward healing.

But whether you're seeking therapy alone or trying to get your family on board, Williamson & Associates Counselling is here to support you and provide guidance. Our skilled counsellors will schedule an initial appointment to discuss what's going on for you and how we can help.

So, call us today for a free 15-minute phone consultation if you want to take the first step toward more fulfilling relationships with yourself and others.

 Couples Counselling & Family Therapy in Olds, Alberta

At Williamson & Associates Counselling in Olds, Alberta, our couples and family counsellors are trained in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) and Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT). Our counsellors offer in-person couples counselling at our Olds, Alberta location, or online couples counselling to anyone in the province of Alberta. Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) and Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT) can help you heal, grow and feel closer in your relationships. Reach out today to book your free phone consultation here with one of our amazing individual, trauma, family and couples counsellors in Olds, Alberta.

Williamson & Associates

Williamson & Associates Individual, Couple & Family Counselling in Olds, Alberta, offering support and whole family care with mental health, trauma and relationship challenges.

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Couples Counselling, Family Therapy and Mental Health: Supporting Each Other Through Tough Times

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Managing Conflict in Your Relationship: Tips from EFT Couples Counsellors and Family Therapists